really want to maintain what we have. even if it takes all my time. i know i won't. even if you insist we don't know what could happen in the future. you sound like you're preparing me for the inevitable truth so i wouldn't take it to hard. but you said not to worried. and i wouldn't worry. cause you're reassuring me. but i couldn't help realising the ugly big gap that would grow bigger if i don't change how we think about who we are now...

i'd never want to lose you. you're more important than anything else in my life.

i presume this is the first time, you dno, no one taught you, so you dno how to react. i feel sorry for you. i believe she is still there. i believe she won't just go away. i believe she, like you, can't. it might be a passing thing. it might be because of the exam. i dno, i can't comment, i'm not sure. but i do believe she needs you just as much as you needed her still. she is not someone who can just let it go like that. i believe you have done nothing wrong and its just the pressure thats hurting both of you. maybe this take times. i dno what happen, but maybe, just maybe, it doesn't hurt keeping a little hope in your heart, it'll be better.

maybe whats important is for her to be happy. if its not yours, it will never be. please remember you have all your friends behind you gor, and even if its hard to let go, you'll just have to try, espcially now, and when there is nothing you can do to bring her back to you anymore.

try to be happy, i know it takes time, but try, she'll like to see you smiling, i believe. not now, but in the near future. i know i'm not in the position to comment anything, but as a mei who loves you dearly. thats what i want to say.

y.

got 32/5o for bio w the possibility of 1 more mark. really really disappointed. bio is one class i really had fun in and i really want to do well. but guess i'm to complacent or something over the class tests. zzz.

had a late night last night so wasn't feeling all that well today. slept at 2 and woke at 5. i usually stay up late de so i didn't know what happen ytd that made me x1oo times more tired.

but its the weekend soon, no money but at least can wake up late. crazy headache now. left choir early cause everything is just too too cold. and i feel like puking already. poor me ehhs. missed out the choreography i think. but thats too bad of me. doesn't anticipate the public perf as much as i did when i was in sec one. everything made me think of jeffrey. lols. still, the past is the past and we should put it behind us.

wonder if he'll come help the drama. lols. ._.

ta.
x.

p/s:
dno how to get back my sec 1 spirit now. really miss those days more than anything...

got 32/5o for a maths. a b4. but not bad la. i thought i will fail de lo. although really motivated me to work harder than before. just cause of this paper. lots of stuuuuuuuuuupid careless mistake. dang shit lo. but then exams finish le, back to the hard life. then there's this public perf rehearsals and such. think everything will be much tougher ba. but try lo. if not also no choice. haaaaaaaaais. life of sec 3 lo. like that ma. jiayou yenshan.

ta.
x.

p/s
once friends and now like nemesis. what a way the world acts. even if i'm the outsider of the episode, i still watch in wonder how everything unfold. smiling when they see each other and hating deep inside. how did they do it?

i don't like you, i dno why. okay i DO know why, but thats another thing. its a pity you were there. i don't like you now. i dno if i'll like you next time, but for now i don't like you.

fcuk off bitch. lets just be straight to the point. i hate you.

rebonded my hair on monday, look like some flatten haired girl... not as nice as i thought it would but miles neater. plus my fringe was waaaaaay short, which i believe i what that made mr lau like my new hairstyle. i dno if its me or what but i feel snickers as i walk. i know the law of self consciousness. you think everyone is looking at you, but to tell the truth, NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOU. still, i can't help but look away from everyone i see who knows me.

school getting tougher. i've been good enoough to finish my hw. with an occasional copy, but trying hard laaaa. :x need to study a lot lot lot lot more for a maths or i will really fail my common test. and common test is suppose to be the easiest. if cannot do this now then eoy or mid yr really die le.

okay la, someone else want to drag me off the com le. ==

ta.

yesterday, the blasted tubing connected to the tap for washing machine, was loose or something, it was dripping water. so, i went to the rack there, remove all the disgusting, smelly, already wet stuff and throw them aside, throw to throw, wash to wash, evacuate to evacuate.

then i took a clean, dry cloth. " oh my, the tap is dripping water." (wipe wipe) [BUSRT] the tubing just came loose and the tap was on, i was like SO DRENCHED. == so me and one of my mei. (the other was lucky, she's at some sjab outing) spend a whole seven hours clearing out those disgusting stuff that had never been touched for who knows how long. we flodded the place. its a bit like life's transformer.

lots ok lizards.( eeeeeeeeeeek, i hate lizards) and this unknown one side black and one side silver slug like creatures. cleaned those back up tiles, detergent, hand wash those stupid clothes. omgggggg, found lots of good old things though. my mum's old books, and this bird drawing of my mum and dad's name when they married, my baby cot, and those plastic balls. waaaaaaa.

don't want to repeat it again... i hit my head on the stupid tap. they thought i was bleeding and need to go see doctor cause its a metal tap. but i was like, "hello, its my head, not my fragile sister's head. i'm strong."

7 hours people... 7 whole hours.

ta.

had an odd day today. chemistry was ok. but i think i'll have to revise everything BIG time to pass for ct. p.e. was just throwing the plastic javelin. me and justyn and qi were like, waaaaaa, made in america, claps claps. then ss was also okay la. but i think i ALSO have to revise hard hard hard to pass. got 11/12 for my essay. whoots. :D

then a maths, teacher never come so mrs toh was taking over. she is damn funny. she is like, " what are you doing?"/ "designing class tee"/ "you never ask for permission." i was thinking like is their physics class like," what are you doing?"/ "drinking water."/ "you never ask me." that would be hilarious in an odd way. :x

then went for this temasek poly talk. think jon's a poor thing. he smiles and joke and all that. but somehow i can see the strain. his heart must be breaking. poor poor jonathan. and bad bad jinghan, for adding salt to the wound.

then went home, and here i am posting. :D

thats all for now,
ta.
x.


like my sister will say, 'shit damn damn shit shit damn shit.'

had 2 dumb tests today. a maths and chinese. a maths, i confidently wrote "5o" on my target marks. until i tried the second qn, i changed and put 1o. totally give up. only dumb dumb qw, so sick lo, he knows how to do ehhs. (jealous)
i hate you for it quanwei. (jkjk)

then the dumbo chinese one. i do kinda quick. and i don't believe in checking for any subjects that is not maths, english, science or geog. so i just like, check a bit a bit lo. then the teacher like want to spite me like that, ask me to hand in my paper and mark right in front of my face. i was like, "mark lo." got 49/7o. just nice a2. hahas, sucks to be her. no a1 but got a2 i contented le ba?

tired tired day. great seat change today. sitting w justyn now. i think amanda likes jiaming. and she is trying to split qi and jm up. hahas.

ta.
x.

first, to a friend of mine whom i'll always treasure, D
really hope we could be friends all our life, but our affinity is only this short, and i can blame no one else for what happen to us. being friends w you, even for that short 2 yrs, was really something i would treasure my whole life, because the way you guide me along, teach me stuff and all that really touched me. i never understand why someone as good as you would want to be my friend and help me when i need help. but i'm glad you did. i understand that ppl will change and ppl move on. friendship is a mutual thing and i won't force you, but i'll always remember i had a friend like you.

second, to a friend i've betrayed, E
i know i shouldn't lie to you, i should have learn enough to know i shouldn't lie to a friend who trust me and is willing to teach me stuff even if everyone else doesn't like me. i really appreciated all those things you told me, i really thank you for telling me all these stuff and quizing me before last yrs eoy. what i did was wrong, i should never have lied to you. i have no excuse for myself and i just want you to forgive me, because i don't want to lose a friend just like that. i know it takes time, i know you may not even forgive me. but i really am sorry...

third, to a good good friend of mine, N
thanks for chatting w me and lending me so much of your time for the past 2 months or so. :D i really appreciated it. you've grown to be really important and i hope we will be friends for very very very long. thanks for being understanding and taking care of me and helping me whenever i need help. even though we hadn't known each other for very long, i hope we will still have a long long long future to get to know each other better. :D

fourth, to a friend who looks happy but have a emotional inside, Q
you know i've always been jealous of you. i want what you have, what you can do, and your personality. i thought you won't have any trouble. i only realised today that, you have your own troubles, you have part of you that will feel frustrated. i only want to tell you don't dumb dumb le k? if that is fate, then just let it be. you have other friends, i understand you want to make new friends, but it will take time la. jiayou. :D

fifth, to a very funny friend, who recently has a rebellious streak inside, C
never got to hear you out properly yet this year. dno what caused you to be so rebellious recently, but good for you, hahas. don't like then don't do. don't force yourself anymore. :D seems like you're having fun w your new class too. stay happy. don't let anyone control what you want to do and all those shit. be yourself. we'll be there. :D

sixth, to the bitchy friend, J
you're the best among everyone ahhs, never heard you have any trouble, just some hair complains and all that. thanks for being the 'morale' of the gang. :D always know what to say, always know what to do to make ppl cheer up. be more open this year ba. :D or not. not like you don't have enough friends already hor? friends is more about quality, not quantity. (to you too, Q) thanks for always making ppl happy. and no need thank me about the song, i know i'm good, hahas. ;D

and lastly, to the three of you,
FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE SINCERE, IF YOU'RE NOT, STOP MAKING PPL FEEL LIKE THE EXTRA ONE. UNCALLED FOR DE OKAY?

ta.
x.

really want to maintain what we have. even if it takes all my time. i know i won't. even if you insist we don't know what could happen in the future. you sound like you're preparing me for the inevitable truth so i wouldn't take it to hard. but you said not to worried. and i wouldn't worry. cause you're reassuring me. but i couldn't help realising the ugly big gap that would grow bigger if i don't change how we think about who we are now...

i'd never want to lose you. you're more important than anything else in my life.

i presume this is the first time, you dno, no one taught you, so you dno how to react. i feel sorry for you. i believe she is still there. i believe she won't just go away. i believe she, like you, can't. it might be a passing thing. it might be because of the exam. i dno, i can't comment, i'm not sure. but i do believe she needs you just as much as you needed her still. she is not someone who can just let it go like that. i believe you have done nothing wrong and its just the pressure thats hurting both of you. maybe this take times. i dno what happen, but maybe, just maybe, it doesn't hurt keeping a little hope in your heart, it'll be better.

maybe whats important is for her to be happy. if its not yours, it will never be. please remember you have all your friends behind you gor, and even if its hard to let go, you'll just have to try, espcially now, and when there is nothing you can do to bring her back to you anymore.

try to be happy, i know it takes time, but try, she'll like to see you smiling, i believe. not now, but in the near future. i know i'm not in the position to comment anything, but as a mei who loves you dearly. thats what i want to say.

y.

got 32/5o for bio w the possibility of 1 more mark. really really disappointed. bio is one class i really had fun in and i really want to do well. but guess i'm to complacent or something over the class tests. zzz.

had a late night last night so wasn't feeling all that well today. slept at 2 and woke at 5. i usually stay up late de so i didn't know what happen ytd that made me x1oo times more tired.

but its the weekend soon, no money but at least can wake up late. crazy headache now. left choir early cause everything is just too too cold. and i feel like puking already. poor me ehhs. missed out the choreography i think. but thats too bad of me. doesn't anticipate the public perf as much as i did when i was in sec one. everything made me think of jeffrey. lols. still, the past is the past and we should put it behind us.

wonder if he'll come help the drama. lols. ._.

ta.
x.

p/s:
dno how to get back my sec 1 spirit now. really miss those days more than anything...

got 32/5o for a maths. a b4. but not bad la. i thought i will fail de lo. although really motivated me to work harder than before. just cause of this paper. lots of stuuuuuuuuuupid careless mistake. dang shit lo. but then exams finish le, back to the hard life. then there's this public perf rehearsals and such. think everything will be much tougher ba. but try lo. if not also no choice. haaaaaaaaais. life of sec 3 lo. like that ma. jiayou yenshan.

ta.
x.

p/s
once friends and now like nemesis. what a way the world acts. even if i'm the outsider of the episode, i still watch in wonder how everything unfold. smiling when they see each other and hating deep inside. how did they do it?

i don't like you, i dno why. okay i DO know why, but thats another thing. its a pity you were there. i don't like you now. i dno if i'll like you next time, but for now i don't like you.

fcuk off bitch. lets just be straight to the point. i hate you.

rebonded my hair on monday, look like some flatten haired girl... not as nice as i thought it would but miles neater. plus my fringe was waaaaaay short, which i believe i what that made mr lau like my new hairstyle. i dno if its me or what but i feel snickers as i walk. i know the law of self consciousness. you think everyone is looking at you, but to tell the truth, NO ONE IS LOOKING AT YOU. still, i can't help but look away from everyone i see who knows me.

school getting tougher. i've been good enoough to finish my hw. with an occasional copy, but trying hard laaaa. :x need to study a lot lot lot lot more for a maths or i will really fail my common test. and common test is suppose to be the easiest. if cannot do this now then eoy or mid yr really die le.

okay la, someone else want to drag me off the com le. ==

ta.

yesterday, the blasted tubing connected to the tap for washing machine, was loose or something, it was dripping water. so, i went to the rack there, remove all the disgusting, smelly, already wet stuff and throw them aside, throw to throw, wash to wash, evacuate to evacuate.

then i took a clean, dry cloth. " oh my, the tap is dripping water." (wipe wipe) [BUSRT] the tubing just came loose and the tap was on, i was like SO DRENCHED. == so me and one of my mei. (the other was lucky, she's at some sjab outing) spend a whole seven hours clearing out those disgusting stuff that had never been touched for who knows how long. we flodded the place. its a bit like life's transformer.

lots ok lizards.( eeeeeeeeeeek, i hate lizards) and this unknown one side black and one side silver slug like creatures. cleaned those back up tiles, detergent, hand wash those stupid clothes. omgggggg, found lots of good old things though. my mum's old books, and this bird drawing of my mum and dad's name when they married, my baby cot, and those plastic balls. waaaaaaa.

don't want to repeat it again... i hit my head on the stupid tap. they thought i was bleeding and need to go see doctor cause its a metal tap. but i was like, "hello, its my head, not my fragile sister's head. i'm strong."

7 hours people... 7 whole hours.

ta.

had an odd day today. chemistry was ok. but i think i'll have to revise everything BIG time to pass for ct. p.e. was just throwing the plastic javelin. me and justyn and qi were like, waaaaaa, made in america, claps claps. then ss was also okay la. but i think i ALSO have to revise hard hard hard to pass. got 11/12 for my essay. whoots. :D

then a maths, teacher never come so mrs toh was taking over. she is damn funny. she is like, " what are you doing?"/ "designing class tee"/ "you never ask for permission." i was thinking like is their physics class like," what are you doing?"/ "drinking water."/ "you never ask me." that would be hilarious in an odd way. :x

then went for this temasek poly talk. think jon's a poor thing. he smiles and joke and all that. but somehow i can see the strain. his heart must be breaking. poor poor jonathan. and bad bad jinghan, for adding salt to the wound.

then went home, and here i am posting. :D

thats all for now,
ta.
x.


like my sister will say, 'shit damn damn shit shit damn shit.'

had 2 dumb tests today. a maths and chinese. a maths, i confidently wrote "5o" on my target marks. until i tried the second qn, i changed and put 1o. totally give up. only dumb dumb qw, so sick lo, he knows how to do ehhs. (jealous)
i hate you for it quanwei. (jkjk)

then the dumbo chinese one. i do kinda quick. and i don't believe in checking for any subjects that is not maths, english, science or geog. so i just like, check a bit a bit lo. then the teacher like want to spite me like that, ask me to hand in my paper and mark right in front of my face. i was like, "mark lo." got 49/7o. just nice a2. hahas, sucks to be her. no a1 but got a2 i contented le ba?

tired tired day. great seat change today. sitting w justyn now. i think amanda likes jiaming. and she is trying to split qi and jm up. hahas.

ta.
x.

first, to a friend of mine whom i'll always treasure, D
really hope we could be friends all our life, but our affinity is only this short, and i can blame no one else for what happen to us. being friends w you, even for that short 2 yrs, was really something i would treasure my whole life, because the way you guide me along, teach me stuff and all that really touched me. i never understand why someone as good as you would want to be my friend and help me when i need help. but i'm glad you did. i understand that ppl will change and ppl move on. friendship is a mutual thing and i won't force you, but i'll always remember i had a friend like you.

second, to a friend i've betrayed, E
i know i shouldn't lie to you, i should have learn enough to know i shouldn't lie to a friend who trust me and is willing to teach me stuff even if everyone else doesn't like me. i really appreciated all those things you told me, i really thank you for telling me all these stuff and quizing me before last yrs eoy. what i did was wrong, i should never have lied to you. i have no excuse for myself and i just want you to forgive me, because i don't want to lose a friend just like that. i know it takes time, i know you may not even forgive me. but i really am sorry...

third, to a good good friend of mine, N
thanks for chatting w me and lending me so much of your time for the past 2 months or so. :D i really appreciated it. you've grown to be really important and i hope we will be friends for very very very long. thanks for being understanding and taking care of me and helping me whenever i need help. even though we hadn't known each other for very long, i hope we will still have a long long long future to get to know each other better. :D

fourth, to a friend who looks happy but have a emotional inside, Q
you know i've always been jealous of you. i want what you have, what you can do, and your personality. i thought you won't have any trouble. i only realised today that, you have your own troubles, you have part of you that will feel frustrated. i only want to tell you don't dumb dumb le k? if that is fate, then just let it be. you have other friends, i understand you want to make new friends, but it will take time la. jiayou. :D

fifth, to a very funny friend, who recently has a rebellious streak inside, C
never got to hear you out properly yet this year. dno what caused you to be so rebellious recently, but good for you, hahas. don't like then don't do. don't force yourself anymore. :D seems like you're having fun w your new class too. stay happy. don't let anyone control what you want to do and all those shit. be yourself. we'll be there. :D

sixth, to the bitchy friend, J
you're the best among everyone ahhs, never heard you have any trouble, just some hair complains and all that. thanks for being the 'morale' of the gang. :D always know what to say, always know what to do to make ppl cheer up. be more open this year ba. :D or not. not like you don't have enough friends already hor? friends is more about quality, not quantity. (to you too, Q) thanks for always making ppl happy. and no need thank me about the song, i know i'm good, hahas. ;D

and lastly, to the three of you,
FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE SINCERE, IF YOU'RE NOT, STOP MAKING PPL FEEL LIKE THE EXTRA ONE. UNCALLED FOR DE OKAY?

ta.
x.