week one: complete practical part of bio project; sort out who to do what for report and presentation.

week two: choir camp and slack time.

week three: TO FIND MY AH MA, AH GONG AND COUSIN!!!!

week four: complete all holiday homework.

oh man~ SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT TIMES FOR CHOIR PRACTICE! I TOTALLY DNO WHEN AND WHAT TIME TO GO. CHOIR BLOG WRITES ZILCH! mdm wee keep saying check the noticeboard~ oh well~

ta.
x.

i'm gna be the bad guy, the heartless bitch for once. and i promise myself i won't do it anymore. sorry you are the unlucky victim.

i got a feeling i shouldn't post this but you know, everything came back and start messing my mind again. i'm such a freak. why can't i content myself to what i have, i dno why am i confused. when i should be happy. can you tell me? i'm really tired to think of these. i should just pushed the confused feeling to the back of my head and ignore shouldn't i? i bet you're gna ask me whats wrong. and i bet i'll tell you i dno how to say. troublesome. say i'll stop the drama le and it still comes back.

Ja jednoducho nemajú pocit, že sme spolu. jeho pocit dal, a vy nie. Nechápem prečo.

i hope i didn't make the wrong choice. listening to that choir song making me wna cry sia. grrrrrrrr. CRAPOLA.

went to east coast to pick up rubbish today. i think we did that for 3o to 45 minutes. then i slacked. was enjoying the fresh sea breeze, forgotten when's the last time i went to a beach already. I HAVE TO START GOING CHOIR. or mr qiu would well kick me out of syf. i know de. haaaaaaaaais. alright! i promise ziqi and mdm wee. i'll report there next week, scout's honour.

CAN ANYONE UNDERSTAND WHAT SINGING CAN DO TO ME?

been a little confused lately over many things. dno what to do and all that. i hope i can be a better person. i hope i can be the kind of person everyone likes. but i only like being w myself. and my close friends. hope to abandon that part of me. want to go to universal studios but maaaaaaaan, can you imagine the entrance fee? maybe its time to gain a friend.

listening madly to songs, cause they always manage to make me happy. singing really changes things and how i look at them.

ta.
x.

p/s:
best therapy.




ytd was cross country. i completed it, duh~ but i took an hour plus, ;p. was lagging behind and waiting for just. we did silly things at the back, talking about flyinf fox and jumping into the reservoir. ppl keep asking if i would be running w someone. oh hell, NO. unless its adam lambert. ;p our prince the second after mr lau, justyn toh was unwlling to run at all until clarence poke him at the ribs. he started running till very very far then stop at a bench. everytime we pass a medic me and clarence will shout cramp! cramp! lolol. then justyn start telling us how delon is actually a gentleman. hmmmm~

had a mini celebration during bio lesson as a pre thing for mr lau's birthday. he didn't look very surprised~ but the cake was good. waiting for amanda and vivien to upload the pics. feel terribly sick. reach bedok reservoir 2 frigging hours early i sit there emo. then gg home that time tio pangseh by cass and just. if i'm not picked up by my mei ahhs, i probably will be found at a police station cause i dno how to go home. thats how pathetic i am.

horrible motion sickness. i hope i don't have that :C yesterday at bedok they played today was a fairytale. feels like one, i completed 4 point frigging 3 km. who knows i'm capable of that, even if i took 2 hours? plus the blackforest today~ brought me to heaven!

ta.
x.

{lemonshavingfoam/}

went out w A today. to compass and all that. okayish fun but very tired. think i'm having flu or something. want sleep and lots of sneezing lately. hey bobo, don't be angry w me k? not doing anything behind your back la~ :x trust me k?

only want to live past this happily w/o complain and all that~ i mean, we should be happy right? am tired of dramatic scenes and all that. just want peaceful and serenity. hope my angel agrees w me.

{lemonshavingfoam/} the most beautiful thing in life. ;p

ta.
x.

shaky legs, lol, walking around the whole day today. HIGHLIGHT: oreo mcflurry. hahas. ;p start reading agatha christie. SHE'S A WONDERFUL WRITER! her novels are really cool. PM lee came to our school today. but didn't see him. saw the dogs and police and guards though. lolol. was keep reminded not to wander or go out of the class room. how funny huh? PM lee come to visit the school and the students are supposed to be kept out of sight.

RESULTS ANNOUNCEMENT:
biology: 85/1oo (hehe... ;p)
chemistry: 71/1oo
english: 6o/1oo
chinese: 65/1oo (not very sure, but i think so)
e maths: 72/1oo
a maths: 63/1oo
combined humanities: 75.5/1oo

okayish la~ not very happy w my english and chinese result though, its all paper 2's fault! :C

{lemonshavingfoam/} smileyyyyyyyyyys.

ta.
x.

haiyarhh~ can't even compare to her...

i think i just stepped into a wonderland full of chocolate and ice cream.

sorry to some friends for leaving you out.


i'm glad i'm sharing it w you. C:

JUST-CAN'T-SEEM-TO-FIND-IT.

behind all the laughters and smiles, behind all the fun, lives a lonely girl that wants to find out her meaning in life. i can't just live life like this even if i'm not yet an adult. i have to have a meaning if not whats the point. i look in the cupboards, wardrobe, beneath my bed and in the fridge. i went out of my house, searching for it in school, in malls, in friend's house. peer inside my friend's heart and mind, and still couldn't find it. hopefully i'll see it here, somewhere in my heart.

i wna go malaysia, see my ah ma and ah boy, make it all go back to simple stuff again.

oh my goshhhhh~ i wna be happy... but how can i be happy after being the bad guy for so long. just wna get into a comfy bed and squirm around complaining to adam lambert about everything. i forget stuff for a while, then after that everything comes back. i don't like being the bad guy... but i have to be right?

middle of the night, can't sleep. lol~ i dno what explanation i have for myself but boy, its really time to move on k? i know i've been a bitch. everyone i know has asked me if i'm sure. i think i'm sure. at least, this risk thingy is a part of life right? thank you and sorry.

when you let go both but secretly want one of them. the feeling is just... weirdish~ lol...

ta.
x.

the most beautiful thing in life, is usually not mine. they can be at my fingertips, i only have to reach out to grab them, but being not contented always pulls me back. sticking to my self-righteous rule. i just don't wna be hurt. does it really means that i must grab on the chances while i still can? i only want to be strong and make decisions that i'm sure of. i am so sure now. i wna forget everything and reach out R, i really do. but its just complicated. i have a feeling i'm gna regret this. but i'm in such an agony now.

i cannot imagine another person. the world, in my eyes. is too small for so many ppl.

:C

they're fighting. me and my mei. my mei is crazy about show luo; i want my adam lambert.

getting my mum dinner, and that should be it. heyyyyy, we're teenagers k? lols~~ gotta study mad for e maths! have not been touching the tv for quite a while. need SLEEP. REALLY NEED SOME NOW,

maaaaaan, even you can't deny that we are different;

if i lose you now, i might never get you back, and you might be the one person i need;

everyone falls down, we just have to get back up;

what happen if we can't go either way and am stuck in the middle?;

{念念不忘是危险的念头};

i need someone to tell me what to do, and convince me that that is the right thing, thats something i really need.

well oh well, we're not exactly in the era of need someone to support to survive now are we?
mmm~ i'm doing it wrong laaaaaaa~

i cannot, i really cannot. sometimes i feel it, sometimes i don't. you see why i'm fickle minded. they scare me too much. it is a feeling no one can comprehend. because of a stupid silly piece of memory from 4 years ago had such an impact on me. i care about you, so i don't wanna hurt you. but i know it won't work out. for one, i'm too scared. and i know i'm too freaking immature to love properly. i always don't understand the taboo on the teenage BGR stuff. but now i realise i do. i'm not ready. not now, not next yr, i dno when. i don't want you to wait and waste your time on someone who don't deserve you at all. i know how much i'm losing. you're not the only one. i feel pain too. but you have great friends R, you're not lonely, i believe you'll be okay. i still want to be your friend. you make me see a lot of things i had never realise before. i think i give you false hope ba, (okay i GAVE you false hope). i'm sorry. this once again shows how childish i am. WE ARE DIFFERENT. i know A told me i don't have to look at it so seriously. but he also say if its meant to be, why not. and... i'm just like that. i'm everything i told you i am and maybe even worse. you would not like that kind of me. i promise. i think i know you enough to know that you won't like that kind of me. please believe me, being just friends, still having that line in the middle is better for us. really. text me k? i'll explain when you do.

i want an easy way out.
i want to stop thinking about adult-ish troubles.
i want everyone to be happy.
i want no one to be hurt.
i want to see the ppl i love to smile.
i want my life to be less complicated.
i want to know what to do.
i want to know whats so good about me.
i want to appreciate everyone who's nice to me.
i want to ace my papers.
i want to smile.
i want to love.
i want adam lambert.
i want hugs.
i want comfy pillows.
i want no one to cry.
i want to stop getting headaches almost everyday.
i want someone adult enough but i know is trustworthy to help me. (other than A, ps, you're STILL not old enough)
i want to eat ice cream.
i want to have a happy holiday.
i want to buy presents for everyone i love for the reason that they love me.
i want to have lots of money.
i want to grow up.
i want to not be scared.
i want to be mature and independent.
i want to be like those girls i admire alot.

its only times like this when i suddenly feel sentimental. you brought me to Him. and i'm glad you did. i feel stronger even when i'm with myself cause i know He's there. thanks E. please give me time.

once agan, i'll dunk myself into work and friend's company, i'll start feeling sorry for myself until i wake myself up and realise: this is life, this is what life is like, falls and rise and all that. life wouldn't be life if i spend every moment contemplating my next move and maybe i should be reckless once in a while. going out as much as possible next week before gg home to study. don't want to go back to an empty home with a unfriendly computer and warm bed that still has the nice soapy smell. umm hello, you're everywhere. i can see your shadows still lingers here. the little bear, the necklaces, the key chains and the notebooks, everything is still lying there. i don't want to take them away man. let them be. lol.

long time never post;

she left you for you to search for better love, she can't allow you to love a girl who only gives you half a heart. she can't take the other half back from you either, cause it doesn't want to go. she hopes that the hurt will go all on her. and not you.

she hope you're not sad E, she hope that you could still be friends with her like before you two are together, she hopes she can still see you smile and talk about dota all the time and she hope you won't hate her. she hope that you can stay in contact with her all her life and be her friend and support. she hope you'll find happiness too. she hope one day maybe when you two are older, you'll understand better and think back to the times as happy memories again.

she still love you, she just doens't want to hurt you anymore. when she can't give you 100% when that is the minimum you deserve, she don't deserve you.

thats what she said E. and i know its true,

its hard letting go, but the work has to be done.

week one: complete practical part of bio project; sort out who to do what for report and presentation.

week two: choir camp and slack time.

week three: TO FIND MY AH MA, AH GONG AND COUSIN!!!!

week four: complete all holiday homework.

oh man~ SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT TIMES FOR CHOIR PRACTICE! I TOTALLY DNO WHEN AND WHAT TIME TO GO. CHOIR BLOG WRITES ZILCH! mdm wee keep saying check the noticeboard~ oh well~

ta.
x.

i'm gna be the bad guy, the heartless bitch for once. and i promise myself i won't do it anymore. sorry you are the unlucky victim.

i got a feeling i shouldn't post this but you know, everything came back and start messing my mind again. i'm such a freak. why can't i content myself to what i have, i dno why am i confused. when i should be happy. can you tell me? i'm really tired to think of these. i should just pushed the confused feeling to the back of my head and ignore shouldn't i? i bet you're gna ask me whats wrong. and i bet i'll tell you i dno how to say. troublesome. say i'll stop the drama le and it still comes back.

Ja jednoducho nemajú pocit, že sme spolu. jeho pocit dal, a vy nie. Nechápem prečo.

i hope i didn't make the wrong choice. listening to that choir song making me wna cry sia. grrrrrrrr. CRAPOLA.

went to east coast to pick up rubbish today. i think we did that for 3o to 45 minutes. then i slacked. was enjoying the fresh sea breeze, forgotten when's the last time i went to a beach already. I HAVE TO START GOING CHOIR. or mr qiu would well kick me out of syf. i know de. haaaaaaaaais. alright! i promise ziqi and mdm wee. i'll report there next week, scout's honour.

CAN ANYONE UNDERSTAND WHAT SINGING CAN DO TO ME?

been a little confused lately over many things. dno what to do and all that. i hope i can be a better person. i hope i can be the kind of person everyone likes. but i only like being w myself. and my close friends. hope to abandon that part of me. want to go to universal studios but maaaaaaaan, can you imagine the entrance fee? maybe its time to gain a friend.

listening madly to songs, cause they always manage to make me happy. singing really changes things and how i look at them.

ta.
x.

p/s:
best therapy.




ytd was cross country. i completed it, duh~ but i took an hour plus, ;p. was lagging behind and waiting for just. we did silly things at the back, talking about flyinf fox and jumping into the reservoir. ppl keep asking if i would be running w someone. oh hell, NO. unless its adam lambert. ;p our prince the second after mr lau, justyn toh was unwlling to run at all until clarence poke him at the ribs. he started running till very very far then stop at a bench. everytime we pass a medic me and clarence will shout cramp! cramp! lolol. then justyn start telling us how delon is actually a gentleman. hmmmm~

had a mini celebration during bio lesson as a pre thing for mr lau's birthday. he didn't look very surprised~ but the cake was good. waiting for amanda and vivien to upload the pics. feel terribly sick. reach bedok reservoir 2 frigging hours early i sit there emo. then gg home that time tio pangseh by cass and just. if i'm not picked up by my mei ahhs, i probably will be found at a police station cause i dno how to go home. thats how pathetic i am.

horrible motion sickness. i hope i don't have that :C yesterday at bedok they played today was a fairytale. feels like one, i completed 4 point frigging 3 km. who knows i'm capable of that, even if i took 2 hours? plus the blackforest today~ brought me to heaven!

ta.
x.

{lemonshavingfoam/}

went out w A today. to compass and all that. okayish fun but very tired. think i'm having flu or something. want sleep and lots of sneezing lately. hey bobo, don't be angry w me k? not doing anything behind your back la~ :x trust me k?

only want to live past this happily w/o complain and all that~ i mean, we should be happy right? am tired of dramatic scenes and all that. just want peaceful and serenity. hope my angel agrees w me.

{lemonshavingfoam/} the most beautiful thing in life. ;p

ta.
x.

shaky legs, lol, walking around the whole day today. HIGHLIGHT: oreo mcflurry. hahas. ;p start reading agatha christie. SHE'S A WONDERFUL WRITER! her novels are really cool. PM lee came to our school today. but didn't see him. saw the dogs and police and guards though. lolol. was keep reminded not to wander or go out of the class room. how funny huh? PM lee come to visit the school and the students are supposed to be kept out of sight.

RESULTS ANNOUNCEMENT:
biology: 85/1oo (hehe... ;p)
chemistry: 71/1oo
english: 6o/1oo
chinese: 65/1oo (not very sure, but i think so)
e maths: 72/1oo
a maths: 63/1oo
combined humanities: 75.5/1oo

okayish la~ not very happy w my english and chinese result though, its all paper 2's fault! :C

{lemonshavingfoam/} smileyyyyyyyyyys.

ta.
x.

haiyarhh~ can't even compare to her...

i think i just stepped into a wonderland full of chocolate and ice cream.

sorry to some friends for leaving you out.


i'm glad i'm sharing it w you. C:

JUST-CAN'T-SEEM-TO-FIND-IT.

behind all the laughters and smiles, behind all the fun, lives a lonely girl that wants to find out her meaning in life. i can't just live life like this even if i'm not yet an adult. i have to have a meaning if not whats the point. i look in the cupboards, wardrobe, beneath my bed and in the fridge. i went out of my house, searching for it in school, in malls, in friend's house. peer inside my friend's heart and mind, and still couldn't find it. hopefully i'll see it here, somewhere in my heart.

i wna go malaysia, see my ah ma and ah boy, make it all go back to simple stuff again.

oh my goshhhhh~ i wna be happy... but how can i be happy after being the bad guy for so long. just wna get into a comfy bed and squirm around complaining to adam lambert about everything. i forget stuff for a while, then after that everything comes back. i don't like being the bad guy... but i have to be right?

middle of the night, can't sleep. lol~ i dno what explanation i have for myself but boy, its really time to move on k? i know i've been a bitch. everyone i know has asked me if i'm sure. i think i'm sure. at least, this risk thingy is a part of life right? thank you and sorry.

when you let go both but secretly want one of them. the feeling is just... weirdish~ lol...

ta.
x.

the most beautiful thing in life, is usually not mine. they can be at my fingertips, i only have to reach out to grab them, but being not contented always pulls me back. sticking to my self-righteous rule. i just don't wna be hurt. does it really means that i must grab on the chances while i still can? i only want to be strong and make decisions that i'm sure of. i am so sure now. i wna forget everything and reach out R, i really do. but its just complicated. i have a feeling i'm gna regret this. but i'm in such an agony now.

i cannot imagine another person. the world, in my eyes. is too small for so many ppl.

:C

they're fighting. me and my mei. my mei is crazy about show luo; i want my adam lambert.

getting my mum dinner, and that should be it. heyyyyy, we're teenagers k? lols~~ gotta study mad for e maths! have not been touching the tv for quite a while. need SLEEP. REALLY NEED SOME NOW,

maaaaaan, even you can't deny that we are different;

if i lose you now, i might never get you back, and you might be the one person i need;

everyone falls down, we just have to get back up;

what happen if we can't go either way and am stuck in the middle?;

{念念不忘是危险的念头};

i need someone to tell me what to do, and convince me that that is the right thing, thats something i really need.

well oh well, we're not exactly in the era of need someone to support to survive now are we?
mmm~ i'm doing it wrong laaaaaaa~

i cannot, i really cannot. sometimes i feel it, sometimes i don't. you see why i'm fickle minded. they scare me too much. it is a feeling no one can comprehend. because of a stupid silly piece of memory from 4 years ago had such an impact on me. i care about you, so i don't wanna hurt you. but i know it won't work out. for one, i'm too scared. and i know i'm too freaking immature to love properly. i always don't understand the taboo on the teenage BGR stuff. but now i realise i do. i'm not ready. not now, not next yr, i dno when. i don't want you to wait and waste your time on someone who don't deserve you at all. i know how much i'm losing. you're not the only one. i feel pain too. but you have great friends R, you're not lonely, i believe you'll be okay. i still want to be your friend. you make me see a lot of things i had never realise before. i think i give you false hope ba, (okay i GAVE you false hope). i'm sorry. this once again shows how childish i am. WE ARE DIFFERENT. i know A told me i don't have to look at it so seriously. but he also say if its meant to be, why not. and... i'm just like that. i'm everything i told you i am and maybe even worse. you would not like that kind of me. i promise. i think i know you enough to know that you won't like that kind of me. please believe me, being just friends, still having that line in the middle is better for us. really. text me k? i'll explain when you do.

i want an easy way out.
i want to stop thinking about adult-ish troubles.
i want everyone to be happy.
i want no one to be hurt.
i want to see the ppl i love to smile.
i want my life to be less complicated.
i want to know what to do.
i want to know whats so good about me.
i want to appreciate everyone who's nice to me.
i want to ace my papers.
i want to smile.
i want to love.
i want adam lambert.
i want hugs.
i want comfy pillows.
i want no one to cry.
i want to stop getting headaches almost everyday.
i want someone adult enough but i know is trustworthy to help me. (other than A, ps, you're STILL not old enough)
i want to eat ice cream.
i want to have a happy holiday.
i want to buy presents for everyone i love for the reason that they love me.
i want to have lots of money.
i want to grow up.
i want to not be scared.
i want to be mature and independent.
i want to be like those girls i admire alot.

its only times like this when i suddenly feel sentimental. you brought me to Him. and i'm glad you did. i feel stronger even when i'm with myself cause i know He's there. thanks E. please give me time.

once agan, i'll dunk myself into work and friend's company, i'll start feeling sorry for myself until i wake myself up and realise: this is life, this is what life is like, falls and rise and all that. life wouldn't be life if i spend every moment contemplating my next move and maybe i should be reckless once in a while. going out as much as possible next week before gg home to study. don't want to go back to an empty home with a unfriendly computer and warm bed that still has the nice soapy smell. umm hello, you're everywhere. i can see your shadows still lingers here. the little bear, the necklaces, the key chains and the notebooks, everything is still lying there. i don't want to take them away man. let them be. lol.

long time never post;

she left you for you to search for better love, she can't allow you to love a girl who only gives you half a heart. she can't take the other half back from you either, cause it doesn't want to go. she hopes that the hurt will go all on her. and not you.

she hope you're not sad E, she hope that you could still be friends with her like before you two are together, she hopes she can still see you smile and talk about dota all the time and she hope you won't hate her. she hope that you can stay in contact with her all her life and be her friend and support. she hope you'll find happiness too. she hope one day maybe when you two are older, you'll understand better and think back to the times as happy memories again.

she still love you, she just doens't want to hurt you anymore. when she can't give you 100% when that is the minimum you deserve, she don't deserve you.

thats what she said E. and i know its true,

its hard letting go, but the work has to be done.